Tips for being an adult:
- there are none
- don’t become an adult
- stay a child forever
- Peter Pan was right
My grandmother once said to me, in that dignified, calm way of hers, “I love truck nuts.”
And I was like, “Wha- Excuse me?”
"I love those little plastic testicles that people can buy and put on their truck hitches," she said. "Because I can tell at a glance that the person is a horrible, offensive jerk, and save myself from having to find this out via a conversation. It’s a wonderful time saver when you belong to a motor home club, dear."
She is right. Every time someone comes up with a t-shirt that says “Go make me a sandwich” or “No fat chix,” that is a kindness on their part. They are doing women, right thinking men, and society in general a great public service.
So that we can tell the douchebags at a glance. So we can determine, without a single word, that this person:
A. thought that this shirt was funny
B. no, seriously, they found that funny enough to SPEND MONEY ON IT
C. and has no one in their life to tell them that wearing it out in public is unacceptable
And is therefore not likely to be someone anyone wants to interact with. Turns out Gramma was right; it’s a great time saver in fan circles, too.
It’s that time of the semester where I start to see people wearing very interesting and strange outfits in the library.